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<div class="header">With <font color=#ff0099>♥</font>, Ashley Nuraisyah</div>
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<h1>cut some slack and roll the dice</h1>
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<div class="text1"><u>Meow!</u></div>
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<br><center><u>Ashley</u> <i>or</i> <u>Aisyah</u> <i>, you choose.</i>
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<p><b>life is like a dice. you're the one who keeps it rolling and it either turns good or bad.</b>.
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<div class="text1"><u>Whatcha Say?</u></div>
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Thursday, November 20, 2008</div><p>
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<div style="clear:both;"></div><div><br /><div><div><br /><div>woah! baby and me da 4 mths old together seh! wooohooo! its been so long but yet its only been 4 mths jer? at the rate which we're going through life right now, it seems like baby and me should've been half a yr old together seh! we're only short of 2 more mths, lagi lama tu..haiya~ </div><br /><br /><div>ouhkie so yesterday, something happened to me and baby.</div><br /><br /><div>i'll cut everything and get straight to the most unfortunate part la. we were both sitting at the esplanade bay/waterfront yest.......abeh we sort of had a tiff all of a friggin' sudden seh! </div><br /><br /><div>baby da merajuk, aku lak, slenge tak tau nak pujuk betul2. and well, it was raining cats and dogs siol! so friggin' cold! da la kite dok kat luar esp, not inside tau mind u. abeh im being kinda egoistic, i shifted my place from beside baby to somewhere behind him tau. i wanna see whether he'll also shift and sit beside me again. but no he didnt, instead he shifted somewhere right infront. so i got kinda frustrated, but still insisted on waiting until he shifted to sit beside me. he still didnt, abeh i really felt the strong urge to just mengalah and sit beside him back.</div><br /><br /><div>guess what, my frustration really got out of hand and konon nyer la nak tunjuk yg aku nie merajuk kan, i straightaway left baby sitting there all by himself and walked under the rain towards esp. i wanted to go to the toilet badly cause i really wanna dry myself by using the hand-dryer, my ego told me to think that way. sigh~ it gets worse! </div><br /><br /><div>rupenyer when i was at the toilet in esp, baby finally noticed that i went missing. he got so worried, too worried to be precise until his body started to ache all over! his stomache started to hurt so badly and his legs felt very wobbly as well. he almost fainted dammit! what on earth was i even thinking seh omg?!! my baby was in pain because of ME! im such a selfish douche u know! omg..</div><br /><br /><div>luckily i started to make a move out of the toilet, enough of drying myself already! baby is somewhere out there searching frantically for me seh!</div><br /><br /><div>da gitu kan, aku klua esp jer, baby da tkder kat tmpt yg kite duduk tu tadi! aku nyer heart started to beat so fast, really! i feel so lost. tu la, nak sgt kan carik psl! ish~ thank god i managed to bump into baby a moment later, and he was clutching his stomache and he was also kinda limping when he walked.</div><br /><br /><div>then he immediately rushed to the toilet, and i followed suit. </div><br /><br /><div>sat on the steps outside while waiting for him. he came back, looking flushed as ever! cuddled him and rested his head on my shoulder. i really love to do that, somehow it makes me feel like im responsible for taking care of him. </div><br /><br /><div>his condition doesnt seem to get any better, i got so worried that tears started to well in my eyes. eventually i cried, baby was kinda struggling to breathe. i was so afraid that he would faint or something. i also felt teardrops on my skin, rupenyer there were tears rolling down his cheeks as well and it made me cry even more seh. i hugged him tightly, dont wanna let him go. its as though im clinging to him for dear life. i really love baby so, so, so much! at that point of time, i had this mindset, "no matter what happens, im just gonna stay by his side. he needs me".</div><br /><br /><div>after some time then baby recovered from that relapse, whew! thank god nothing serious happened, otherwise i wont be able to forgive myself for making baby have to go through all that seh! i kept apologising to baby cause i felt so remorseful abt it. i just cant seem to push aside this guilty feeling in me.</div><br /><br /><div>deep inside, it hurts la actually. saper tak seh? mataer aku kene suffer because aku yg buat hal dulu, sial la! aku bodoh ke per sial! sigh~</div><br /><br /><div>i just dont wanna let history repeat itself again la seriously. its like a nightmare, no..much more like phobia for me. i will always take care of my baby, no matter what it takes. insyaallah~</div><br /><br /><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270609016135127602" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRtbF30vc88QlH-cNsc-_8o1fni2w6UnO7USE00IynoJHiJLDHgDWciF662hnxFIYk790g33V2V48nThXaj161g7ouwf20Og28v7RYKg4rqOkhP9yTw7FfFcYX_8HPtVBdv6EYbP2kpsD5/s200/Photo585+copy.jpg" border="0" /></div></div></div><br /><br /><p>and to my dearest hid sis, i know that training has been very hectic for u but dont worry alright, everything is gonna pay off during this friday itself. i cant be there to give u my fullest support seh, how i wish i could though. hmm~ i really miss u so much and i love u sis! we'll meet soon for starbucks next week ey darls..wooohooo! cant wait already :)</p><br /><p></p><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270611087021829778" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPsGHza0B5ny2VykTWMKcZkJ907K9Pd-MGNZRdkpYEMgovRmKWD2LZpUi6Ad2qq5JYM6F7BJ8_vbZ4G8N_3MaoqZboScreCpOTruMniPnbgCE387liPL8sXxkpiydjWKbM7wcL3XZqvE7n/s200/13082008(005).jpg" border="0" /></p></div><br /><p></p><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270612301421566818" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd7YWC8KJFN3AMXWtbKbrmGOZHHZKDn60qPAi4y286T2QiP60YLrcJ_Q0Y7fmeX61ESETHQNpnAk-WQB7bfAZMYNE0WaPH2pfkr-BceS9jL5fzQNtMSJXEUFbuNP8mS_Dgt5iZi5i87p-d/s200/DSC01916.jpg" border="0" /></p><div style="clear:both; padding-bottom:0.25em"></div>
<p><div align=right><font color=#ff99ff>♥our lips must always be sealed<br>
9:36 AM</font></div><p>
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